The Scottsdale Property Shop
Humor & Fiction Archives
All work and no play makes Paul a dull boy ...
Bogus Sales Gimmick of the Week: Human Popsicle
The tax credit has come and gone. The snowbirds have returned to their assorted tundras for the thaw. The Memorial Day throng is now a memory. What is a salesman to resort to when his resort town trades an idyllic spring for the mercury-bending summer that looms...
Bogus Sales Gimmick of the Week: Free Haggus
Sound the bagpipes! In honor of our Gaelic brethren who put the "Scot" in "Scottsdale," the bogus sales gimmick of the upcoming week is all you can eat haggus for two at the local pub of your choosing. Sign a listing agreement or exclusive buyer's representation...
Soliloquy
A well-heeled businessman strode into the foyer of a nondescript office building. Tossing a nod over his shoulder at the exiting secretary who held the door for him, he failed to suppress the knowing grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth. A quick appraisal of...
Negotiation
Ninety two contentious minutes into a 90 minute contest, the pitch is littered with casualties. Spent forwards, midfielders and fullbacks slogging wearily through stoppage time. Lungs seared from fruitless forays into the opposing half of the field, calves and...
The Scottsdale Real Estate Investor: Bacterium or Probiotic?
Real Estate Investor. The phrase alone inspires a host of reactions that run the full gamut between antipathy and, well, slightly lesser antipathy, depending on the audience. As any semi-interested news watcher and industry blog reader can attest, the Real Estate...
Throwing Rocks at the Ice Cream Man
Ever throw rocks at the ice cream man when you were a kid? I did. I have absolutely no idea why either. Were we bored? Most likely. Did we suspect him of secretly poisoning the chocolate milkshakes? Absolutely. Of course, we also had it on good authority that the...
The 12 Steps of Real Estate Recovery
You have a problem. Your family sees it. Your friends see it. At the eye of the storm, only you lack the perspective to clearly recognize the wake of wanton destruction spawned by your vice. Despite your feeble protestations to the contrary, you need help. Your...
I Am A Realtor. The Fate of the Planet Is In My Hands.
The fate of the entire planet rests in your hands. Hire a Realtor!
Chemotherapy for the Capitalistic Soul
Nobody likes taking their medicine, but it is often a necessary evil. Let’s hope the financial doctors are writing the right scripts.