The Scottsdale Property Shop
Humor & Fiction Archives
All work and no play makes Paul a dull boy ...
The House on Foreclosure Hill
The wind whipped up and down Oak Street, depositing stray leaves at the feet of the group loitering in front of the last house at the top of the hill. The late October chill worked its way inside loose seams and under plastic masks as the motley assemblage of...
Online Home Evaluation
“Friedster, what the hell are you doing with that chicken?” Startled, Ned Friedgen looked up to find his moon-faced boss hovering in the doorway. “Oh. Hi, sir,” the design engineer acknowledged. “Just fiddling with the ‘Nequity’ algorithm again.” Squawk! “What’s with...
Three Agents Walk Into a Bar
Three Real Estate agents sat shoulder to shoulder at the bar of a local watering hole, sipping happy hour cocktails like they did every Friday. One made his bones in the current market as a bank owned property (REO) specialist. Another had carved out a niche in the...
Realtors To Stop Photographing Themselves in Bathroom Mirrors
Scottsdale, AZ - According to a hastily released statement from the National Association of Realtors this morning, the 1.2 million active members of the nation's largest trade organization will hereby stop including themselves in property listing photos. Effective...
The Tenant and the Cabana Boy
Joyce DeMannon traced a white glove-encased fingertip over a lamp shade and inspected it for residue. Satisfied, she gave a curt, reluctant nod to the head of the maid staff. “Turndown service every morning, of course,” the chambermaid informed her dour guest....
Americans Divided on Real Estate Recovery
(Scottsdale, AZ) - Coke versus Pepsi. Republicans versus Democrats. Ginger versus Mary Ann. You can throw the Real Estate recovery onto the list of great American debates. According to recent polling* of consumer confidence by the Fallacy-Inclined Bureau of Statistics...
Internet Asks Bloggers to “Please Stop”
In a stunning reversal of internal policy, the Internet has asked that bloggers stop adding new content to the collective mainframe. “It’s gotten out of hand,” Zachary Omega of the Internet confided when reached for comment. “We didn’t think it was possible for there...
New NAR Initiative Forces Realtors to Update Avatars
(Washington DC) - In a statement released this morning, the National Association of Realtors® announced a new initiative aimed at curbing abuse in photographic representation amongst its membership in the virtual sphere. “This initiative has been ten years in the...
Bad Faith
“What do you mean I can’t back out on the inspection,” James “Jamo” Monahan demanded. “Say the frigging icemaker doesn’t work or something.” “Like I told you earlier, James, er, I mean Jamo,” Agnes DeMerrit explained to her disingenuous client on the other end of the...
Walter Deklan’s Great Escape
Sully strolled into the dingy office bullpen ten minutes late with his cell phone glued to his ear. He held up a well-tanned finger to still the chatter around him. “I don’t care if you have to charter a rowboat and pick them up yourself, just get’em here by tomorrow...